It is midnight thought

It is still fresh in my mind, how I used to love blogging so much. It was my life after all long time ago. As I got to live in hostel, I didnt feel the same passion again. Back then, I was eager to let people know my blog, what I posted in it and of course I want to gain followers as much as I can. But now, I just want it to be just me reading all of this words. I have became afraid with what people will thought about me. It bothers me much. I dont even want people know the real me. I dont want they look me as a dissapointment, loser, worthless just because me being me. I have to put on smile face to all my friends and acquantaince. It is not that i made a disgusting or serious mistake. It just me feel that I'm not worth to evry single people i have met. In a brief, i hate myself a lot. And I dont know why.😟
I know im being ungrateful and stupid to let my self effing hate myself. Wish someone would tell me to love myself evenmore, to appreciate myself a little more, to let me know it is not important to live up to people's standard. Can i just really be myself? , Im tired. So tired. Tired. Exhausted. Grasp for air. It is okay. Let take a rest for awhile. Things will get better. It is chaous right now, things will be okay and fine. Hmm I just hope walid will be okay. I always pray that every single person that i love is granted happiness in dunya and hereafter by Allah. I just hope everyone doing okay. Just, dont get hurt because it will hurt me too. Be safe wherever you are.

It is just random midnight thought. Not important much.Being kind is tiring, but it is okay😁